This is not a good week. Multiple reasons, ranging from events in my private life to problems at Uni, make this week a necessary time to be alone and think about life. I see you coming at me, asking why I’m writing all of this on the Internet. Well, what do you want, I’m basic and full of contradictions. It might surprise you, knowing me, but I took some time off from going out. I stayed in or I went wandering in Hong Kong, late at night, watching some part of the city sleep while others don’t know the meaning of it. I started thinking about my life, all the opportunities I had, all the misfortunes that happened to me. However, the main purpose of this time out wasn’t to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, I’m still young, I’ve got plenty of time to get to that.

My main goal was rather to discover who I wanted to be in life. This won’t be a lecture on being a better you type of shit, mind you. No, this post is coming from a question that arose when I put in perspective my relations towards others, such as strangers, family, and friends. When and why is it good to let some friends go? I’m a social butterfly, I go from group of friends to group of friends without being an irreplaceable member. I’m able to do that due to my nature as an extrovert, an optimist and also my ability to not give a fuck about anything. Apparently, those qualities make me likable to many people. I can hang out with everyone and have a really good time, but with this comes a price. Since I go from one group to another, I don’t really spend time with one in particular, resulting in me not really being part of the group. Think of it as that friend that you only see in parties or at lunch. Nevertheless I still made some close friends along the way, my ride-or-die bitches, my squad (#TeamRocket), you get the point. It can be surprising how you never seem to know who’s gonna be your friend till you die or worse get children and who’s gonna be there 24/7 and suddenly vanish. Now this leads me to the core of this joke of an article. Everything can lead a friend from drifting from you, but it is always their choice to do so.

A friend of mine stopped talking to me because I disapproved of her relationship with her boyfriend, who happened to be a friend as well. I realised this was my wrongdoing and tried to adapt my behaviour, for the sake of our friendship. Still, in a war of ego and pride, lies and deception, we parted ways. As of today, we’re yet to talk to each other. Another friend just radically changed her attitude toward me. Maybe I was just too blind to see the changes happening, but it happened pretty quickly. It’s only my side of the story but after asking mutual friends, it should be pretty accurate. Long story short, she became a proper Mean Girl, like a rebel without a cause but in this case, more a bitch without a reason. There are plenty examples of friendship turned bad in one’s life, but I’ll spill the tea one more time. In pretty simple here, a good friend, I looked up to him like a big brother, he got a girlfriend, she was a close friend of mine and he got pretty jealous of how close we were. In all this drama, worthy of a soap-opera, I don’t deny I must have my share of responsibilities. I should have kept my mouth shut when I was advised to, I shouldn’t have given my opinion when it wasn’t my place but hey, Hannah Montana said it first, nobody’s perfect. Although it was partly my fault, I still believe it was also theirs. Apart from the first one, if I had

In all this drama, worthy of a soap-opera, I don’t deny I must have my share of responsibilities. I should have kept my mouth shut when I was advised to, I shouldn’t have given my opinion when it wasn’t my place but hey, Hannah Montana said it first, nobody’s perfect. Although it was partly my fault, I still believe it was also theirs. Apart from the first one, if I had knew the reasons behind their sudden dislike for me, I would have adapted my attitude. I’m a go-with-the-flow kinda guy so to preserve a friendship I deem important, yeah, I could go to big length. Here’s the catch, have me as a friend and you can count on me anywhere, anytime, legit call me at 3 AM and I’ll drive my way to you. I’ll be your Rick Astley and I’m never gonna give you up. However, if you don’t put effort in this friendship, if you let it drift away, it’d so long until I call it quit. If we have a disagreement, I might be full of pride but I’ll try to make it work, I’ll make the first move if it’s how you want it to go. As stated previously, I’ll go full Jane Austen on this and put aside my pride and prejudices.

Nevertheless, those friendships didn’t have a happy ending, this ain’t no Disney shit. Eventually, I was the only one trying to keep on holding on, like a broken Flume record and if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that I’m kind. Kind towards other and towards myself. I won’t force my friendship on you if you deem it a waste of your time. In French, there’s a saying that goes “Fuis moi je te suis, Suis moi je te fuis” which roughly translate to “Run away from me and I’ll go after you, Go after me and I’ll run away from you” and yeah, maybe you like being chased on, but I ain’t about that life, too much effort and I’m shit at running. In the end, I feel like Aretha Franklin, I’ve got too much R-E-S-P-E-C-T for myself, you don’t think I’m worth your energy and love, so I won’t hold my breath. I’m also shit a this anyway, pretty much everything physical, if you wanna get into it. Finally, thank to some recent events, I came to realise that a friendship is about having something in common but not always, I’m friends with people who I never thought I’d be friends with, some of them are the total opposite of me and they’re probably the best of friends I’ve ever had. It’s also about devoting

Finally, thank to some recent events, I came to realise that a friendship is about having something in common but not always, I’m friends with people who I never thought I’d be friends with, some of them are the total opposite of me and they’re probably the best of friends I’ve ever had. It’s also about devoting some time for others, accepting them for who they are and whatever they do. As I know that some friendship aren’t made to last, I’m still shocked at how some of them, as promising as they were, turned out to be total failure. Not to be an ice queen who’s a total diva, but it was time to let it go, not like it ever bothered you anyway apparently. I’ll conclude saying that I believe in second chances and if you meet me halfway we could potentially rise up like the Black Eyed Peas once did. After, I’m totally fergalicious.

-S

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